Sometimes when driving home, I hear lyrics that just jump out at me.
Calm down
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling all your threads and
Breaking yourself up
If it's a broken part, replace it
If it's a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it
And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your own name
And go your own way
And everything will be fine
Everything will be fine
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Aesthetic exeperience
Recently I started photographing strangers and called it The Stranger Project. I am challenging myself to meet people I do not know in order to practice my portriture in uncomfortable situations - taking myself out of my element in order to stretch myself as a photographer. The people I've met so far, if only for a few minutes, have impacted me. Especially when stranger #3, better known as Rick, contacted me. The hotel he worked for apparently found me first.
My first thought was "How did this person find me???", my second thought was "what did I say?- ohmygosh, what did I write??"
I don't consider myself a writer. It's very easy to throw down a bunch of words when you think no one is reading it except a few trusted friends. It's entirely different to have the guts to express yourself when you are held accountable for what you say. Luckily for me, Rick is every bit the opposite of my first impression of him. He enjoyed my post and actually found some humor in it.
THANK GOD.
In "scowly me, Stranger #3", as he referred to himself, I found an easy going, intelligent, fellow artist. From our email conversations I learned a little bit more about him. (A photographer, a war-reenactment buff and degree from William & Mary in history) Above all, though, what really gets me, is that this person who only knows me from looking at my photographs and reading my silly blog posts saw this in me:
I spent a lot of time looking at your blog yesterday after I sent the e-mail to you. I was impressed, amused, and often touched on a deep level by what I saw there. You are a good writer as well as a photographer. I loved the poems and other things you shared as they meant something to you. It's all very personal. You said you consider yourself shy, but you are working pretty hard to put yourself out there into the big world. Shy people are by definition "sensitive", and it is this sensitivity that gives you the vision to see what others miss, and to consider the human condition and everything else in a quest to understand, celebrate, sympathize, but never ignore, because while it's often inconvenient and leaves you more vulnerable, you can't. Sometimes you may wish you could do less of this. I sometimes do, but if I could, I would no longer be "me." I often think "ignorance is bliss", at least it seems so for the less perceptive people I know. In looking at your blog, I was reminded of , well, hope you don't mind this..........me. You're just more of a risk taker, and a better writer. You have given me the opportunity to express some ideas that really matter, but that most, including my friends, wouldn't care to discuss, or maybe not even understand. How's that for opening up? Hope this will continue........you started it. Thanks for that.
You have inspired me to put together a collection of my best photos in one collection at to post that on Picasa. I will do that soon. There are others that I want to see it, too. I don't want anyone thinking that I am a one-trick pony. I will do that soon and let you know when it's done. I was planning to do this anyway; you just put a little fire under my butt to get on with it.
That email brought me to tears. It made me proud to be who I am. And although I have friends who fill me with love and praise every day, sometimes it takes a stranger #3 to really make it sink in.
My first thought was "How did this person find me???", my second thought was "what did I say?- ohmygosh, what did I write??"
I don't consider myself a writer. It's very easy to throw down a bunch of words when you think no one is reading it except a few trusted friends. It's entirely different to have the guts to express yourself when you are held accountable for what you say. Luckily for me, Rick is every bit the opposite of my first impression of him. He enjoyed my post and actually found some humor in it.
THANK GOD.
In "scowly me, Stranger #3", as he referred to himself, I found an easy going, intelligent, fellow artist. From our email conversations I learned a little bit more about him. (A photographer, a war-reenactment buff and degree from William & Mary in history) Above all, though, what really gets me, is that this person who only knows me from looking at my photographs and reading my silly blog posts saw this in me:
I spent a lot of time looking at your blog yesterday after I sent the e-mail to you. I was impressed, amused, and often touched on a deep level by what I saw there. You are a good writer as well as a photographer. I loved the poems and other things you shared as they meant something to you. It's all very personal. You said you consider yourself shy, but you are working pretty hard to put yourself out there into the big world. Shy people are by definition "sensitive", and it is this sensitivity that gives you the vision to see what others miss, and to consider the human condition and everything else in a quest to understand, celebrate, sympathize, but never ignore, because while it's often inconvenient and leaves you more vulnerable, you can't. Sometimes you may wish you could do less of this. I sometimes do, but if I could, I would no longer be "me." I often think "ignorance is bliss", at least it seems so for the less perceptive people I know. In looking at your blog, I was reminded of , well, hope you don't mind this..........me. You're just more of a risk taker, and a better writer. You have given me the opportunity to express some ideas that really matter, but that most, including my friends, wouldn't care to discuss, or maybe not even understand. How's that for opening up? Hope this will continue........you started it. Thanks for that.
You have inspired me to put together a collection of my best photos in one collection at to post that on Picasa. I will do that soon. There are others that I want to see it, too. I don't want anyone thinking that I am a one-trick pony. I will do that soon and let you know when it's done. I was planning to do this anyway; you just put a little fire under my butt to get on with it.
That email brought me to tears. It made me proud to be who I am. And although I have friends who fill me with love and praise every day, sometimes it takes a stranger #3 to really make it sink in.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Natasha Ice
A close friend of mine passed away a little over a year ago on July 31, 2007. It is believed she committed suicide. I received the news a couple days later from a mutual friend and it hit me hard.
I had never lost a friend before - much less in this way - and it was very difficult to handle.
I met Natasha when I was 20 years old and living in Morgantown, WV. She was a few years older than me and I looked up to her. When I was 22 I can remember her giving me the "wisdom" of a 25 year old and thinking "wow, this girl really knows about life!" The truth is, though, that she had a lot of demons in her life and her world was a constant battle with them.
When I moved back to Virginia we kept in touch. The last two years of her life we had a steady communication and she would even come to visit me. (She would get very excited about the idea of shopping in Georgetown even though she knew she couldn't afford it.)
A week before she died she called me. She said that she was going through a hard time and she needed to get away from things for awhile. She asked if she could visit. She told me that she felt she had hit rock bottom and finished it off with a laugh and said that she could only go up from there.
I remember that our phone call was cut off due to no reception and when I tried calling her right back it went to voicemail. I left her a message trying to be as encouraging as I could on a recording and promised of plans to visit. I never talked to her again.
I was not able to attend her funeral although I very much wanted to. For a long time I wrestled with that and the whole thing in general. No one who has people that care about her like she did should feel that hopeless. I wish I would have known. I wish I would have been able to make her see that I really did care. I felt angry that I couldn't help her.
Like me and most of my friends, Natasha had a Facebook account. Yesterday her birthday notification started to show up. Tomorrow she would have been 36.
So I wanted to say Happy Birthday to my friend. You had a giant heart and a passion for helping others. Your friends meant the world to you and you were often hurt by the closest people in your life. You loved music and lyrics and poems and quotes. You were the kind of person who took words and HELD ONTO them. I learned that from you and still have the notebook you bought me before I moved so I could start collecting my own words.
You used to joke about writing your life story one day and it making you rich because it was so crazy. It's a shame that didn't get to happen. I think there are a lot of people out there who would have enjoyed knowing you like I did.
more about Natasha:
http://www.timeswv.com/obituaries/local_story_213192331.html
Song lyrics | Talk lyrics
I had never lost a friend before - much less in this way - and it was very difficult to handle.
I met Natasha when I was 20 years old and living in Morgantown, WV. She was a few years older than me and I looked up to her. When I was 22 I can remember her giving me the "wisdom" of a 25 year old and thinking "wow, this girl really knows about life!" The truth is, though, that she had a lot of demons in her life and her world was a constant battle with them.
When I moved back to Virginia we kept in touch. The last two years of her life we had a steady communication and she would even come to visit me. (She would get very excited about the idea of shopping in Georgetown even though she knew she couldn't afford it.)
A week before she died she called me. She said that she was going through a hard time and she needed to get away from things for awhile. She asked if she could visit. She told me that she felt she had hit rock bottom and finished it off with a laugh and said that she could only go up from there.
I remember that our phone call was cut off due to no reception and when I tried calling her right back it went to voicemail. I left her a message trying to be as encouraging as I could on a recording and promised of plans to visit. I never talked to her again.
I was not able to attend her funeral although I very much wanted to. For a long time I wrestled with that and the whole thing in general. No one who has people that care about her like she did should feel that hopeless. I wish I would have known. I wish I would have been able to make her see that I really did care. I felt angry that I couldn't help her.
Like me and most of my friends, Natasha had a Facebook account. Yesterday her birthday notification started to show up. Tomorrow she would have been 36.
So I wanted to say Happy Birthday to my friend. You had a giant heart and a passion for helping others. Your friends meant the world to you and you were often hurt by the closest people in your life. You loved music and lyrics and poems and quotes. You were the kind of person who took words and HELD ONTO them. I learned that from you and still have the notebook you bought me before I moved so I could start collecting my own words.
You used to joke about writing your life story one day and it making you rich because it was so crazy. It's a shame that didn't get to happen. I think there are a lot of people out there who would have enjoyed knowing you like I did.
more about Natasha:
http://www.timeswv.com/obituaries/local_story_213192331.html
Song lyrics | Talk lyrics
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Things I've learned over the past 6 weeks
It really is possible to do anything if you have the courage and work hard enough.
To my surprise, I am an exceptional kayaker.
If I am not friends with someone anymore there is a very good reason for it.
Being friendly is too often mistaken for flirting.
I don't like to sleep in as much as I used to.
Standing on a street corner in the middle of the afternoon on Columbia Pike automatically grants strangers permission to proposition you. Keep walking.
Dog + grass meals = dog puke.
He doesn't love me after all.
To my surprise, I am an exceptional kayaker.
If I am not friends with someone anymore there is a very good reason for it.
Being friendly is too often mistaken for flirting.
I don't like to sleep in as much as I used to.
Standing on a street corner in the middle of the afternoon on Columbia Pike automatically grants strangers permission to proposition you. Keep walking.
Dog + grass meals = dog puke.
He doesn't love me after all.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
The Lost Kayak Trip
This morning I got up early to meet Jessica at my parents house in Woodbridge, VA, where they have a house on the Occoquan River off of the Potomac. We suited up and took their kayaks out on the river for a fun day in the sun. Of course we had a camera with us. Actually, a special water-proof camera was purchased just for today so we wouldn't have to worry about any casualties if one of us should happen to fall out of our kayak because of the massive rapids the river provides...and by massive rapids I absolutely mean the wake caused by the Police boat that passed us 5 times.
Swimming took place, fun was had, hilarity ensued, all was captured on camera.
After our 4 hour kayak adventure we decided to get drinks and eat at a local restaurant while we waited for the film to be developed.
During this time I received a phone call regarding our film development.
"Hi, Ms. Aveta?"
"Yes?"
"Hi. Uh, I'm calling about the film you dropped off...Uh, there has been a problem..."
"Yes?"
"Well, Uh...I don't know what happened...but..uhh...the film was exposed or something like that so we couldn't develop it...."
"It was exposed?"
"Yes."
"You mean exposed to light?"
"Uh, yeah, uh, I guess...I don't know what happened..."
"It was a waterproof camera which was enclosed in a plastic case, so if it was exposed to light it couldn't have been done on our end. Was it done there in processing?"
"Uh........can you hold on?"
"Yes."
..................................
..................................
..................................
"Hello?"
"Yes?"
"Uh...can you hold on again?"
"yes."
..................................
..................................
"Hello? Uh.....Yeah, uh, we can give you your negatives, but, uh...I don't think you wanna pay for them..."
"Is there anything on them?"
"No."
"Ok. Is there a manager on duty I could talk to?"
At this point the manager, Amanda, gets on the phone and we start getting somewhere. Apparently our film was "eaten" by their machine and pretty much torn in half. She is very sympathetic and apologized immediately. I first thank her for her apology.
She apologizes again and says
"I hope they weren't very important photos"
"Actually, they were of my godson's birth"
"OHMYGOSH! I'M SO SORRY!"
"Yes, it was an underwater birth"
"OHMY--!!!"
"I'm just kidding"
We both laughed and I told her it was not that big of a deal and these things happen. We did get a replacement camera and a free development after everything that happened so we were happy.
But what about the precious memories that were captured on film that will never be replaced???? Oh, don't you worry. If my memory serves me correctly, and my photoshop skills are as KEEN as I know that they are... (heh heh) I am able to recreate our wonderful day for you now.
Jess hittin' the rapids hard
Ang takin' it easy on the Occoquan
Easy Wednesday afternoon
Chillaxin'
Jess-One...Rapid-ZERO
Ain't no rapid too rough for this smile
Swimming took place, fun was had, hilarity ensued, all was captured on camera.
After our 4 hour kayak adventure we decided to get drinks and eat at a local restaurant while we waited for the film to be developed.
During this time I received a phone call regarding our film development.
"Hi, Ms. Aveta?"
"Yes?"
"Hi. Uh, I'm calling about the film you dropped off...Uh, there has been a problem..."
"Yes?"
"Well, Uh...I don't know what happened...but..uhh...the film was exposed or something like that so we couldn't develop it...."
"It was exposed?"
"Yes."
"You mean exposed to light?"
"Uh, yeah, uh, I guess...I don't know what happened..."
"It was a waterproof camera which was enclosed in a plastic case, so if it was exposed to light it couldn't have been done on our end. Was it done there in processing?"
"Uh........can you hold on?"
"Yes."
..................................
..................................
..................................
"Hello?"
"Yes?"
"Uh...can you hold on again?"
"yes."
..................................
..................................
"Hello? Uh.....Yeah, uh, we can give you your negatives, but, uh...I don't think you wanna pay for them..."
"Is there anything on them?"
"No."
"Ok. Is there a manager on duty I could talk to?"
At this point the manager, Amanda, gets on the phone and we start getting somewhere. Apparently our film was "eaten" by their machine and pretty much torn in half. She is very sympathetic and apologized immediately. I first thank her for her apology.
She apologizes again and says
"I hope they weren't very important photos"
"Actually, they were of my godson's birth"
"OHMYGOSH! I'M SO SORRY!"
"Yes, it was an underwater birth"
"OHMY--!!!"
"I'm just kidding"
We both laughed and I told her it was not that big of a deal and these things happen. We did get a replacement camera and a free development after everything that happened so we were happy.
But what about the precious memories that were captured on film that will never be replaced???? Oh, don't you worry. If my memory serves me correctly, and my photoshop skills are as KEEN as I know that they are... (heh heh) I am able to recreate our wonderful day for you now.
Jess hittin' the rapids hard
Ang takin' it easy on the Occoquan
Easy Wednesday afternoon
Chillaxin'
Jess-One...Rapid-ZERO
Ain't no rapid too rough for this smile
Monday, August 4, 2008
Washington, DC
I love my job. Not only because I get to be creative on a daily basis, but also because it takes me to places where I get to enjoy views like this -
On the rooftop of the Hay-Adams overlooking Lafayette Park is where I took this and it reminded me of what a beautiful city Washington is. It's easy to forget when you're in the rush of everything below, but when you do get those moments they take your breath away.
Wedding photography is often looked down upon, and I'm not saying it's what I see myself doing forever, but there's something so gratifying about it. Of course I didn't know anyone on this rooftop, but you can't be dis attached from the emotion that is going on around you. You are forced to feel it and see it. There has not been many weddings I've worked where I did not cry during a sweet moment or laugh out loud on the dance floor. And when I leave I am taking nothing but good feelings with me and I am always fulfilled.
On the rooftop of the Hay-Adams overlooking Lafayette Park is where I took this and it reminded me of what a beautiful city Washington is. It's easy to forget when you're in the rush of everything below, but when you do get those moments they take your breath away.
Wedding photography is often looked down upon, and I'm not saying it's what I see myself doing forever, but there's something so gratifying about it. Of course I didn't know anyone on this rooftop, but you can't be dis attached from the emotion that is going on around you. You are forced to feel it and see it. There has not been many weddings I've worked where I did not cry during a sweet moment or laugh out loud on the dance floor. And when I leave I am taking nothing but good feelings with me and I am always fulfilled.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Has Oscar written all over it
Wow.
Besides the fine acting performances (especially brown haired girl in last car), I must comment on the editing. There's definitely a moment in there where I think I just had an acid trip of some kind.
Besides the fine acting performances (especially brown haired girl in last car), I must comment on the editing. There's definitely a moment in there where I think I just had an acid trip of some kind.
The Stranger Project - Stranger #3
Tonight I assisted a wedding shoot for a few hours at the Hay Adams Hotel in DC. Being a second shooter, part of my job is to wander around during the reception and get the detail shots. In doing so I noticed a member of the hotel's staff that intrigued me. He didn't seem to fit in with the rest of the catering staff. The awkward way his tuxedo uniform fit him, his quiet dis attached way of working, the set scowl on his face - all these things made me more curious as to who he was. Intimidated at first, I took a few shots from afar while he worked, but knowing I would kick myself if I didn't get up the nerve, I approached him and asked if I could take his photograph. Barely looking up from his work, he snapped at me in a growling voice and said "I wish that you wouldn't!"
Sure, I'm only on stranger #3, but this was my first negative response from anyone I've approached. I was instantly taken aback and my nerves tripled. I don't know where it came from, but with a shaky voice at first I just started talking. I said that besides doing weddings I am also a fine art photographer and that I am working on a project where I approach people I don't know and take their portrait. I kept talking about why I'm doing it and somewhere in the middle of my rambling his entire disposition changed. He first thanked me for saying what I said. He then apologized for his initial reaction. He said "If this is for what you said - for YOU - then yes, you may take my photo".
So this is Rick.
Once Rick opened up he REALLY opened up. He is a photographer himself. I learned that he has been shooting for years and even has a darkroom in his home. Like me, he switched from film to digital just a few years ago. I'll tell ya, Rick was a talker! By the time I left him to get back to shooting the dancing wedding guests I felt like we'd been talking for an hour. Such a far cry from the initial first seconds of meeting him.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Paths
I just got home from my official last day at my old job. I have a lot of things to do and I am forcing myself to walk away from my computer, but I felt the desire to create something first. Something that reflects my mood as I end one chapter of my life and start a new one. One that makes me so so happy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
