How To

How to annoy me

Chew with your mouth open.
If you do this when I'm around I probably won't make a big deal about it on the outside. (It's not like you're stabbing kittens in the heart right in front of me. If that were the case I would have to mention my distaste – at least by the 3rd or 4th one.) Besides, if you are doing this then we won't be hanging out with each other long enough to have many meals in the future.

Lack common sense.
You wrote on the dry erase board with a sharpie. Really? Do you not know the difference?

Give me only two packets of hot sauce with my tacos.
You know and I know that they put crack in the hot sauce so give me more than 2 packets, please. Mama needs her crack!

Tickle me.
Yes, I realize that I am laughing, but I'm not REALLY laughing. Not in my heart. Can you not tell that between laughs and desperate gasps of air I'm pleading for mercy? You sick tickling monster.



How to enchant me

Call me up and tell me that you've named someone in your Zumba class "Teabo Angie" because they remind you of me.

Stay up all night playing YouTube wars with me and win every time.

Be willing to do whatever it takes for me to get the shot. Even when that means submersion in a lake in the middle of October.

Be comfortable enough with me to not be funny.

Be absolutely random.